For the profundity they carry, certain images get imprinted within us.
I had to take a particular bus at 8:50 in the morning to make it in time for the 10 'o' clock class. If I missed that, I'd have to change a bus or take an auto for one-third the distance, take that much longer to reach, and pay thrice as much as the direct bus ticket. I'd reach before the lecturer alright, but all along I'd be trying to calm and tell myself that think as much as I may that the bus needs to move faster, and the traffic needs to clear sooner, the journey will last as long as the distance is not traveled.
Once, 200 meters away from the bus stand, five minutes past the scheduled time, I saw the bus pulling away. It was yet picking up speed and the thought crossed my mind to chase after it. While I thought, the bus accelerated. As it did, I almost decided to run, but before I could, I discounted my chances to catch up with it. And while that happened, the bus, easing out of the stand, slowed down and a few passengers clambered in. I sped my step and almost ran, and before I could enact, the image froze. 'Maybe this moment means to talk to me'. ' I need to listen'. I still, almost ran, but unable to move, saw the bus speed away...
The moment persists in me so vividly that despite the years, I recollect every single thought that spliced through those few seconds. It make me think of the 'bullet timer mode' of the video games when we seem to live an entirety in a split second.
This frame speaks to me each time I slacken at a task at hand. Especially when the strings slacken over my well etched out pursuit. How I'd feel if I just missed the bus. And I start running before I 'almost' begin to do so!
I had to take a particular bus at 8:50 in the morning to make it in time for the 10 'o' clock class. If I missed that, I'd have to change a bus or take an auto for one-third the distance, take that much longer to reach, and pay thrice as much as the direct bus ticket. I'd reach before the lecturer alright, but all along I'd be trying to calm and tell myself that think as much as I may that the bus needs to move faster, and the traffic needs to clear sooner, the journey will last as long as the distance is not traveled.
Once, 200 meters away from the bus stand, five minutes past the scheduled time, I saw the bus pulling away. It was yet picking up speed and the thought crossed my mind to chase after it. While I thought, the bus accelerated. As it did, I almost decided to run, but before I could, I discounted my chances to catch up with it. And while that happened, the bus, easing out of the stand, slowed down and a few passengers clambered in. I sped my step and almost ran, and before I could enact, the image froze. 'Maybe this moment means to talk to me'. ' I need to listen'. I still, almost ran, but unable to move, saw the bus speed away...
The moment persists in me so vividly that despite the years, I recollect every single thought that spliced through those few seconds. It make me think of the 'bullet timer mode' of the video games when we seem to live an entirety in a split second.
This frame speaks to me each time I slacken at a task at hand. Especially when the strings slacken over my well etched out pursuit. How I'd feel if I just missed the bus. And I start running before I 'almost' begin to do so!
i would've ranted about how poetry ought to rhyme,
ReplyDeleteand yet, the brevity and bluntness of this account render my complaints moot.
this is wonderfully written, Aparna!
to me, it's the perfect short story, though it is possible you imagined it as something else entirely. it's sharp, and crisp, and personal, and poignant.
in conclusion, of course, my apologies for having kept away for so long.
and you, do keep writing,
for the better and the verse!